Fictionate.me: How to Master Show, Don't Tell in Your Writing

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." -Anton Chekov

landscape photography of full moon — Master the art of show, don't tell in your writing to create an immersive experience for your readers.

Writers, you no doubt have heard the advice “show, don’t tell” in your writing journey. It’s one of the top recommendations you hear when you’re studying the craft. And for good reason!

But how can you use it if you don’t really know what it means? Many authors read the advice but end up scratching their heads in confusion. So what does it mean to show and not tell in your writing?

Keep reading to find some great tips and tricks for the golden rule of writing along with some helpful examples!

Show, Don’t Tell: A Primer

Show don’t tell is a writing tip in which writers help readers deeply connect to your characters through sensory details and actions rather than through direct exposition. While there are some moments you do need straight up exposition (telling), you want your readers to relate to your characters through their actions during the story. Don’t directly tell your readers what to feel; instead, show the emotion and let your reader feel it for themselves.

person holding white printer paper — When you show readers emotions in your writing, your readers can feel it for themselves.

Here’s an example of showing in writing:

When Brandon heard the front door slam when his father got home, his stomach immediately tensed up. He quickly shut off his video game and ran to his room, opening his math book and pretending to work yet again to escape his father’s wrath at his supposed laziness.

In contrast, here’s telling:

Brandon was afraid of his father and volatile moods, so he stayed in his room most of the time.

boy writing — Showing, not telling allows your readers to infer, creating a more immersive reading experience.

Do you see the difference? Showing allows your readers to infer, to figure things out for themselves. It also makes for more captivating reading, no? Simply telling your readers your characters’ traits is boring and will have them instantly searching for something else to read.

Showing instead of telling is a terrific way to develop characters. Put your characters in situations where readers can learn about their traits instead of just listing them. If your character is diligent and persistent, put them in situations that will highlight those attributes. Have them pass through some sort of trial, whether it be a mythical quest or simply passing that impossible trigonometry exam they’ve been dreading.

maps lying on the floor — Show your readers what your characters are capable of by putting them through trials and tribulations. This will show character traits instead of telling about them.

To keep your readers turning the pages, you should leave some things up to the reader’s interpretation. This makes your storytelling more immersive and compelling, keeping your readers coming back for more.

Now that you have the basic premise, let’s look at some more detailed examples to get you on the right path to showing not telling!

Worldbuilding

Worldbuilding is one of the best examples of where you should employ showing instead of telling. When creating your setting, you want your readers immersed, dropped immediately into your world from the first chapter. Utilize sensory details—sight, touch, taste, hearing, and smell—and envelope your readers from the first sentence.

woman wearing gray coat standing in between mountain coated by snow — Envelope your readers in sensory details to help you master the art of showing, not telling.

Show: The white, glittering snow crunched under our boots as the cold crept up through our aching feet, settling in our bones with quiet ferocity.

Tell: It was cold when we walked through the forest and our feet ached.

You want your readers to actually feel the cold as they read, make them shiver and clutch their blankets tighter, even if it’s sweltering outside.

Details

When showing in writing, you want to use descriptive language, but you don’t want to overdo it. If you’ve ever read Tolkien’s descriptions of trees, or Thomas Hardy’s landscape descriptions, you know what I mean (not that I don’t love these two writers!).

green plant house — A great description doesn't require pages upon pages of flowery language. Use strong verbs instead to show and not tell.

However, when using details, you don’t want to use overly ornate and flowery language. I’m sure you’ve heard William Faulkner’s advice to kill your darlings. This is where that rule applies! Use simple language, especially strong verbs to get your thoughts across.

Overdone: The orange, glowing orb in the cerulean sky blanketed above us radiated its heat down to the awaiting earth with its warming rays, and I soaked up its life-giving solar tenderness.

Simple: The sun radiated its heat down to the awaiting earth, and I soaked up its tender warmth.

The problem with overly ornate language is readers get so lost in all the adjectives or adverbs they don’t comprehend the point of the sentence and have to read it repeatedly. Switch back and forth between simple and complex sentences for the best variety.

You also want to switch up between types of sensory detail, instead of overloading on one type, as shown above. The simple sentence is effective by using strong verbs, not a lot of flowery language. And it sounds way better than “The sun was warm.”

woman sitting on brown surface watching at body of water — Don't tell your readers the sun was warm; show them with strong verbs and vibrant but simple descriptions.

Dialogue

As a fiction writer myself, I tend to gravitate toward dialogue for character development. With dialogue, you can show without giving too much direct exposition. Monologues are also great ways to introduce your characters to your readers, keeping your readers hanging on every word.

Think about your characters and their speech. If your MC is a king in a high epic fantasy, you don’t want him to use modern slang or colloquialisms. The character’s formality and grace would come through their speech—not from telling your readers the king is formal and graceful. If you’re writing a modern teenager, on the other hand, you can show how distrustful they are through their language, not just telling the readers they are insolent. Let your readers experience their impudence.

Show: “Hayden, have you finished your homework?”

Sighing, Hayden rolled her eyes at her mother without looking up from her phone. “No, and I’ll do it whenever I feel like it. Now get out of my room!” she screamed, hurling an unused textbook at her mother so she would close the door.

Tell: Hayden was disrespectful to her mother and often eschewed homework in favor of scrolling social media and chatting with her friends.

woman holding phone wearing black hijab — Use dialogue, action, and body language to show your readers the traits of your characters.

The simple dialogue here shows Hayden’s contempt for her mother, and the fact that she doesn’t feel that her homework is important. But it’s more compelling this way, as your readers must infer this as they read.

Action

When all else fails in your show don’t tell journey, think about describing the actions of your characters. Telling can grind your forward momentum to a halt, especially if with every new scene you feel that you must explain the setting again.

For example, your character is trying to find a friend on a crowded beach that’s been described previously.

Instead of this:

Marion looked through the crowd on the beach to find her friend, but she couldn’t see through the throng of people milling about the shore and sunbathing on the shimmering white sands.

Describe scenes through action instead of boring exposition, like this:

The seagulls wheeled overhead, begging for human handouts as Marion pushed through the sweaty throng of scantily clad bodies on the sizzling beach. Blistering grits of sand stung her eyes as a breeze kicked up, but she persisted on through the crowd, desperately calling her friend’s name.

people sun bathing on beach — Use vivid action to keep your narrative moving forward.

Instead of simply saying Marion can’t find her friend, your reader is now immersed in the scene, feeling the oppressive heat, feeling the stinging grit in their eyes, and hearing the cawing of the hungry gulls.

Time to practice

Now that you have the concept of show don’t tell with some examples, let’s finish up with some exercises you can do to help strengthen this specific writing skill!

Exercise 1: Write about sadness. Don’t just say your character is sad. Show us what sadness or depression looks like—what does your character do when they’re sad? Does your character lie around in bed all day, or listen to sad music while wistfully gazing out of the window? Do they eat too much or nothing at all? Do they binge on Netflix and potato chips?

Exercise 2: Create dialogue between two of your characters to show a trait to your readers. For instance, if your character is doubting themselves and their abilities, don’t directly tell the readers they suffer from self-doubt. Craft a scene where the character’s actions show your readers they don’t believe in themselves through their actions.

Exercise 3: Describe action using strong verbs (check out the helpful chart linked above in the Details section!). Write a scene describing your character through actions and body language

rather than using physical descriptions.

person using black iPad turned on — Showing, not telling takes practice like other aspects of the writing craft.

I hope this guide helps you master showing not telling in your writing. Go back through your manuscript or previous stories you’ve written and highlight areas you can rewrite using showing to create a more immersive experience for your readers.

Keep visiting our blog here on FictionateMe to discover more writing tips to hone and sharpen your craft!

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